Halloween

"I wish it could be Halloween every day!" the Little One said to me when it was all over, her loot spread all over the living room rug. 33 treats in total.

Since she was 2 we've tried to embrace Halloween. Having been a fan of anything spooky and scary from a young age. Though she's finally growing out of that now. This year she asked to be "A Witch's Black Cat." This was the only photo i managed to snap before my phone died.



This year the local "village" near her dad's put on an event for the littlies hosted by the local independent children's bookstore The Little Bookroom.

Was gorgeous seeing all the kiddos dressed up and following the trail from the local cafe and bike shop up to the independent toy store popping into all the shops they usually shop in or walk past, bumping into familiar locals. Along the way they picked up a mini horn for their bikes from the bike shop, spider cupcakes from the bakery, glow in the dark bands from the bookstore, mixed lollies from the convenience store, etc.

When the event concluded we rescued her dad from work and went trick or treating in the streets. All the houses that were participating were decked out in fake cobwebs, skeletons, spiders, or had signs letting people know there were treats inside. We only did two streets before she complained of her bucket being too heavy to carry. I think I counted around 150 kids and that was just in 2 streets! It was a phenomenal turnout. The costume standouts were a mini Donald Trump with his own wall, a mini Darth Vader, and a zombie surgeon covered in blood.

In the week leading up to Halloween we prepared each night by settling in to watch old episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? on youtube. Though they seemed to be more sedative than scary as she fell asleep during every episode!



After dinner I read to her the books we picked up at the bookstore. First up was 'What do Werewolves Do When It's Not Halloween' by a local author. Then we finished with a few pages from this irresistible edition of 'Picnic At Hanging Rock'.

How do we parent?

I am asked a lot, often by other single or separated parents - and usually while sitting at a playground or in playcentres - what my custody arrangement is with my ex. I'm not really sure why people ask this but i'm starting to gather that they ask for different reasons depending on whether they're a dad or a mum and what their relationship with their ex is like.

The fact is ... we don't actually have a formal arrangement.  Largely, it is very informal. Though we do try to divide the week up 50/50 (me Tue-Thur, him Sat-Mon) with one day a week the Little One staying at her grandmother's for special grandparent-y super indulgent bonding time. It also means that no one has to pay the other any kind of monetary support. That too all gets split down the middle.

Someone joked to me recently (a man, single, childless) that it sounded more like we each had a timeshare in a child. Which i thought was kind of a funny way to put it and yet weirdly kind of spot on.

I'm lucky that I (now) have a very good relationship with my ex. It wasn't always so. We've worked super hard at it and a lot of that came down to starting little family rituals together. Mandatory church on Sundays which i attend with them when I can. Roast lamb dinner once a week at our favorite nearby restaurant. Playing some kind of ball sport together in the park one a week the three of us together. And the four days a week we have 'off' to be ourselves, focus on work and re-energise for her is a massive, massive help. How do you become resentful of the other person when you have time to yourself and to actually breathe and live your life as an actual person not just a 'mum' or 'dad'?

People are coming up with all kinds of interesting parenting solutions these days. 'Birdnesting' where the kids stay in the house and the parents take turns at staying in it. Though how that works in reality i'm not too sure. It certainly wouldn't for me. I think if you do have a good relationship it pays to get a bit creative and think outside the box. For the sake of everyone's happiness!

One of the Little One's friends from playgroup/kinder also has a very similar parenting/family set-up. Although instead of being whisked away by a grandmother on the weekends it's by a nanny instead. Which just shows how normalised I guess this whole 'timesharing' thing has become. :p